There is a new television program here in Belgium that has been
slowly amassing the interest of the public. The title of the show is “Exotische Liefde”, translated as
“Exotic Love”. It is about what
couples go through in Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) and eventually, how
they meet, reunite…or are deceived.
Interestingly, there are several Filipina-Belgian couples in
the series (even a Filipino-Belgian homosexual couple). It is quite intriguing (especially for
couples like K and I) and most times, in the middle of each episode, we cannot
help but cringe.
Let me tell you why…
When I started dating my now husband, K, I was a bit…careful,
let’s put it that way. I made sure
that I dressed “conservatively” & “appropriately” whenever we went out back
home and that I didn’t wear anything too short or too revealing. I also consciously took it upon myself
not wear make-up of any sort (not that I often do). Red lipstick and heavy make-up? Gasp! (No pun intended)
In short, I didn’t want to seem: “Slutty”. I figured there are enough South Park
jokes about Filipina prostitutes as well as prejudices in the outside world
(and in my country too) that I refused to fuel them. Normally, I do not heed what other people might think of me
or perceive me as despite the undeniable fact that in my country, what people
say or think about you is something that cannot easily be ignored…especially
when you are not directly confronted with it.
However, I would like to think that nobody we didn’t know
really thought of me as a harlot or a gold-digger. Although, coming from a conservative country, I still made
sure that the maximum show of affection in public was a holding of hands or an arm
over the other’s shoulder sort.
Definintely, NO KISSING.
I believed that this time, it wasn’t just about me. It was something bigger than
myself. This time, it was about me
together with all the other Filipinas who had foreign boyfriends. It was about proving to the world that
true love can happen between a white boy and a brown girl…and it doesn’t necessarily
have to be about exchange rates or VISUMs.
As we were watching an episode, there was this scene where
the Filipina finally arrived in her “new” homeland and her loving husband
together with his family beamed with happiness; some even shed tears of joy
that she had finally come to cold Belgium. He brought her to his house where he practically converted
his cellar into a mini-grocery and told his wife that it was all for her and
that she could choose whatever she wanted. He was set on making her comfortable and happy.
There was, however, a scene (among several) that made me/us
cringe—a bit. It was where he was
showing her his living room and tv and he handed her the remote to give it a
try and she asked a particularly interesting question: “Yu hab kaybol?” (Do you
have cable?) Errr…
But well, I would have to admit that I too had my moments. Maybe even worse!
When I first came to visit K, my plane had landed in
Amsterdam. We spent the night
there so we could explore the liberated city on my first day in Europe. At the lobby of our hotel, I found an
enchanting painting on the wall. I
told K that it was beautiful. Then
I saw a metal object right below it.
Recognizing it from a photo K sent me of his bedroom, I exclaimed that
it was exactly like what he had in his room and that it was quite lovely. I asked him what it was. Having been situated under a painting,
I thought: Oh, it might be typical
“European Art Nouveau”.
To my great embarrassment, K replied with a forced serious
tone, “Umm…it’s a heater.”
In Belgium, I try to be at my best—most of the time anyway. I
feel that I am not only representing myself, but I imagine a Philippine Flag
following me around all the time. I
always think that I shouldn’t be the one to tarnish the reputation of my
fellowmen and that I should not bring shame to my motherland. Cliché but true.
I would have to admit that I am not THAT in touch with the
Filipino community here. I only
have a handful of Filipino friends but despite that, news still manages to
reach me.
For example: Two
Filipinas engage in a shouting match in the middle of the street—in
Antwerp! Which is 40mins away from
Ghent. I knew about that.
A Filipino karaoke bar owner in our city got caught for
dealing marijuana and was sentenced to 2 years in prison. I, of course, knew about that even if
it wasn’t in the news.
An au pair in Brussels ran away with her rich employer’s
Hermes bags and designer gowns. I
was well informed about that, as well.
The reason we practically have a thousand Facebook friends is
not because we want to win a popularity contest. It’s because we love keeping ourselves abreast with each
other’s lives. Even if we haven’t
seen each other in a long time.
That’s Asians for you.
On a more sour note, worse news also manage to slither
through the Filipino grapevine:
A Filipina comes to Belgium to visit her online lover only to
be brought to his house, tied to the bed, and repeatedly and alternately raped
by the man and his son. Luckily,
she was able to escape and was able to seek solace from somebody we know.
Or
A Filipina got involved in a fight with her boyfriend and
ended up being killed in one of the parks here.
Or
Another Filipina who came to Belgium and had such a traumatic
experience with her online boyfriend that she had to undergo psychiatric
treatment afterwards of which is completely shouldered by the Belgian
government.
It is a well known fact that the Philippines is not among the
richest countries in the world, or even in Asia, in terms of monetary
wealth. Our wealth lies in our
natural resources and in the hearts of our people. But sadly, that, more often than not, is not enough to put
food on our plates. That is the
sad reality and we cannot blame other women (or men) for seeking “greener”
pastures elsewhere, even if it means living in another country and learning to
love somebody they have never met in person…to the point of risking their
lives.
I know the show makes my husband uneasy because it makes him
and all other Belgian men who unexpectedly fell head over heels in love with “exotic
women” (and I wouldn’t blame them *wink*) prone to the
desperate-foreigner-seeking-exotic-wife stereotype and having colleagues always
talking about the show just makes it worse. And I feel sorry for him
(snicker…just kidding!) but he knows, I know, and the people we know all know
better.
But one thing is for sure, we will continue watching the
series and we might continue cringing but hopefully also do some sighing (with
relief) because things turned out all right for da kopols…I mean, the couples
concerned.
To see some excerpts of “Exotische Liefde” click here:
25secs (my favorite guy in the show coz he’s so sweet): http://www.vt4.be/videos/deze-week-exotische-liefde-4
5mins: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=285Q7DHpndM&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PLFFF8912555496961
The happy end:
